Bring Me That Horizon
by ravenwingcorps
Summary: Ninjas, Pirates, Pirate ships, The seven seas, Naruto and Anko with swords. This won't end well.  Concept, anything but serious, rating subject to change.


**I plead insanity **

**Bring me that horizon **

A new mission

"I have a mission for you Kakashi, although I have a feeling you won't like it."

Kakashi felt a chill down his spine, he had a feeling he wouldn't be liking the mission he was about to receive.

The last time that the Third Hokage has said that Kakashi had found himself in an... unfortunate situation, one that he did not like to remember.

"There has been a surge of pirate activity of late, there is no known reason for this surge of activity. It is not the reason I care about, what I care about is that several shipments that would ordinarily be transported by sea have either been stolen or are travelling by land and will take weeks to get here if bandits do not get them first." Kakashi just shrugged at that, supplies were important but of all the things Kakashi knew how to do, logistics wasn't one of them.

You moved things from where they were to where they needed to be, how hard was it?

"You have Carte Blanche on this mission, I will provide you with a few ninja and a ship but from there the choices are yours, hiring more crew, gaining funds, all of that is to be done at your discretion. I have assigned you a team, meet them in training ground ten in an hour, Neko will meet you there to train the younger members of your team in swordplay." Kakashi sighed.

"I hate you." Sarutobi could only smile.

* * *

><p>Arriving three hours after his meeting with the Hokage and more importantly two hours late Kakashi was met with a series of shocked looks.<p>

"Imposter kill it." Kakashi had to move quickly to dodge the projectiles from his loud-mouthed orange clad student before finding said student impact quite solidly with his face knocking him to the ground.

"Anko!" Although his vision was filled with orange Kakashi recognised the voice of Kurenai who was obviously shouting at Anko if Kakashi had to guess...

"...Irresponsible..."

...And judging from the way she was ranting she was quite angry...

"...You are an adult and should set an example..."

...At least there was one responsible person on his team, Anko and Naruto together could only mean bad news.

Kakashi felt Naruto shift before light met his eye as the orange was removed from his vision and instead found it replaced with the faces of his other two students.

"Are you alright Kakashi-Sensei?" Sakura actually seemed concerned.

"I'm fine Sakura." The sudden evil grin made Kakashi gulp in fear before Sakura's fist met the top of Kakashi's head, the hit sent the still prone Kakashi flying face first into a tree.

"I hate you all, go die in a fire." The words were only slightly muffled by the tree.

As soon as the chaos had calmed Kakashi looked over the team the Hokage had assembled.

Aside from his own three students, Anko and Kurenai there was also Asuma, Tenten and Neji from Kakashi's self proclaimed rival's team, and Kurenai's team of Hinata, Kiba and Shino and Asuma's team of Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji.

Kurenai and Asuma were two people Kakashi was glad to have on his team, they were both level headed and smart. Tenten and Neji were two people Kakashi was unsure on, mainly because Neji looked more like a girl than his team-mate who seemed to be drooling at the sight of the swords in front of them.

Shikamaru, although lazy was scary smart so that worked. Ino was bossy, that Kakashi didn't like.

Chouji, Hinata, Kiba and Shino Kakashi barely knew, it their place on the team was good or bad Kakashi had no idea.

In front of each member of his team was a sword, on the other side of the row of swords was the ANBU Neko, a certified swordmaster, although in Konoha that usually meant you knew enough to not stab yourself , with Anko _and _Naruto in this sword class Kakashi was prepared to see blood, probably his own.

"Is that in my foot?" Feeling a great amount of trepidation Kakashi turned around to see Naruto had managed to stab a foot of sword clean through his foot.

There was a sudden gasp of fear as Hinata suddenly fainted followed by maniacal laughter from Anko before she grabbed her own sword and stabbed it cleanly through Naruto's other foot pinning him to the ground by his feet.

"That hurt." Kakashi has to wonder just how mentally retarded his student was if that was his only response to being stabbed In the foot.

"It was meant to." Anko seemed rather disappointed in Naruto's rather lacklustre response, personally if he was pinned to the floor by swords Kakashi would have something a bit more interesting, like, 'AHHHHHH.' But that was just Kakashi.

"You know what, I'm gonna stab you." With that Naruto pulled both swords from his feet.

The swords were followed by a fountain of blood from the holes in Naruto's feet.

"AHHHHHHH." Anko fell to the ground giggling madly.

"Please tell me this isn't how he always is?" Kakashi looked sideways at Neko.

"You want me to lie?" There was a whimper from the masked woman.

"I usually cry myself to sleep." Neko nodded mutely before walking away shaking her head.

Kakashi suddenly felt a great disturbance, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. It could probably be explained by the fact that Naruto was chasing Anko with both of the swords.

"I'm gonna stab you." Anko was running backwards with her tongue stuck out.

"If you plan on stabbing me you can do it right with a diffre..."

"Anko don't you even go there." Kurenai stormed over to Naruto and Anko and grabbed the swords from Naruto before throwing them over her shoulder and preparing to yell at the two people in front of her before she was cut off by a scream.

Everyone turned around to see Ino pinned to a tree by a sword through each hand.

Kakashi just sunk to his knees and cried.

* * *

><p>Just in case you couldn't guess, all sanity is to be left at the door<p> 


End file.
